wondering...

wondering will anyone read this blog again...
hope they won't...
hah!!
he is right!!
maybe smile doesn't means that u r happy...
just like me...
such a long time hasn't be cheerful....
everyday's happiness is just a fake..
tired......of...it...
frenzs r just....

hah...memory is just beautiful...

hah...
mybe le was wrong bout it..
i was not in any group at all..
i am not belong to either his group or another group..
i'm just myself...
there's nothing much to think bout that...
his words make my brain blank out..
maybe it's just nothing..
sad?? disappointed?


maybe they r right in their choice..

everytime i went out with them
i was the first who needed to go back home early...
sometimes really can see disappointed face ...
really dun wan such scene to occur anymore..
so it's the best way not to go out with them...

i take very serious of my responsibility in family...
maybe just take it too serious..
i'm the eldest in the family....
last time went out too frequently with them..
until i almost forgot about my responsibility..
haiz...
sometimes just dunno what to do..
since i moved here...
i was out too frequently..
unlike last time..
i won't go out with my frens..
maybe it just make it differrent..
sometimes really felt sorry for myself..

haiz...
maybe i really need to be my previous self..
it's just more suit me..
i think...

only thing i can do is pray for u..

again...
heard such sad news again...
y such terrible thing always happens among ppl around me..
he just same age with me...
how he can accept such crucial fact...
strong heart with him which i will nv have..
what else i can do for him...
wondering whether i should phone him later....
first is him.. then my grandpa...then my another grandfather..
he recovered at first..
no body will think that it will spread..
until now...
99% of lung cancer..
my grandpa..
past away in the end....
previous sadness flood through me again..
i have always try to forget bout such sadness..
now...
i dun really think i really can make it..
grandfather...
i think rcover already..
through what i heard from parents' conversation..
but..
no body can ever predict what will hapen..
like grandpa...
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