thxs frenz....i appreciate it..

han...n lin...
mmmm....
never wish to troble u 2 to send me back home la...
just dun like to trouble ppl...
haiz.....
just like yi said ..
y dun i just wait at the school gate...
hehehe...
i had already think about that earlier la...
haha...
i even thought that wan to change the road back home la..
it just sounds so stupid la...
he always need to send other ppl ....
just dun wan to trouble him la..
i always say no to him...
then he seems like wan to beat me....
haiz....
bored!!!! bored!!!! bored!!!
at school.....

no mood to school

back to school again...
no mood for it...
no mood to talk to ppl..
gone to the library quietly....
just wan to be alone....
looks like...
my frens..r worried bout me...
they look around for me
finally at the library...
i'm so touch..
but i was just very tired then....
i was not purposely to make them worry...
they won't listen to me when i asked them to go back for the lesson..
i m glad to have them as my frenz....
such caring frenz..
done nothing for the whole day...
back at home..
whole family slept like pigs...
we r so tired for the previous day...
haiz...
day just passed like that....
wonder how's grandpa's days pass....
anybody know???

at last...

this is the last thing that we can do for u....
hope u will satisfy.....
bless us when u are up there....
i will always remember how funny u r...how friendly u r...
how childish u r...
how lovely u r....
for the tioman trip..
i will never forget...
for getting my driving lesson ...
i will never forget..
for the nasi dagang u always bought for me..
i will never forget..
the time when u always take me around with ur motorbike...
i will never forget...
the tune u always hung...
the song u always sang..
i wil never forget...
for the big stomach u had..
i will never forget...

sad...sad...sad...

cried in the car when i haven't reach u then...
sad...sad...sad..
when i gone down from the ar...
my tears just can't stop...
burst out by itself..
i couldn't control it...
mum started her tears too..
every one's eyes are red when they saw us..
i couldn't even have a glance on u when i first reached there...
i dun have such brave...
dunno what to do when i reached there...
tears came out by itself...
i will never forget the scene..
try to have some jokes with cousin..
tried not to be so sad...
we had burnt a lot of money...car with driver... motor..
we know u like to have a motor then...
we sent u a car n a driver since that u dunno how to drive...
we will burn more money to u ..
if it's not enough...
just hope u live comfortable at there...
i was so touched when ur frens came to see u...
so many frens that u got...
u have got respect from so many.....
which i had never seen....
i'm glad for that...
bin told me that grandma cried once only after u passed away...
u can see how strong she was..
not like us...
cried until like no body...
myself also dun wish for that...
i was impressed by grandma..
it's such barve that she could be....
there's only left one night b4 we buried u..

finally...he has gone forever...

mmm...
grandpa...
u still leave us in the end...
what else can we hope for...
just hope u won't need to suffer...
u leave us at around 3.30pm..
when uncle just arrived at here...
relative called...
ur blood pressure decrease until 25...
doctor anounced that there was no hope already....
i finally can't stand it...
cried in front my mum...
we both cried together...
it's so sad from my heart...
it's been a long time i haven't cried...
haiz....
no mood for the piano class n tuition...
my heart beated so fast when the tuiton end...
wondering what it will be when i go to see u..
no mood for the whole lesson...
when i reached home...
just found out that i no need to face u tonight...
so sad...
think bout that...
i will never forget what's the feeling...
hope u r doing well in heaven..
i will miss u very very very much..

grandpa.....i will always love u...

i will never know what will happen in the future...
uncle just call mum..
telling her that grandpa sickness is getting more serious...
maybe he will leave us in any time...
he was in coma just now...
doctor had been called to the house...
but what can we do?
we have our own lifes to go on...
though we feel sad bout that...
uncle suggest that if grandpa need to be hospitalized again, maybe he will not send him in...
for not to see him suffer so much again...
it's so hurt in our heart when seeing him getting thinner and thinner ..
nothing else that we can do to save him...
maybe he just can't make it for few months more...
though he likes to watch football...
now..
he has no inerest with it...
just lying on the tilam and sleep...
he can't even speak properly to us...
suffer so much that we can't imagine...
always complain on the pain in his body...
he even can't sleep at night...must have someone to accompany him every night...
grandma sacrifice lot ...
dunno what else we can do..
ai....
maybe i will broke down if he leaves us...
i just love him so much...
n we all do love him very much...
we will just never get to see our funny grandpa again...
just hope that i can do something for him......
the fun that we used to have...
now is just the memory...
every time i see him in his sickness..
my eyes will getting wet...
but i can't cry in front my relatives..
i don't think they can stand it if i really cry out loud...
ai.....
what's the life for to be so ....
ai....................
what will going to happen then....
after today.......